Objection to the Superintendant's Objections

Context:  After a year of negotiations the Teachers' UNION delcared IMPASSE with a school district unwilling to work with and compromise with the professionals doing the daily work in the classrooms with the children of Clay County.  A special magistrate was called upon to intercede and foster compromise.  The superintendent of Clay County refused to accept the magistrate's judgement based upon the following: 

1     1.            “The threshold to receive an effective rating is a 60% on the evaluation system which is an artificially low standard established by the Clay Assessment Committee of which union representatives constitute the majority. 

The problem with his analysis here is that the 60% percent is not an artificially low number.  It is feasible to rate ineffective teacher below this number.  In fact, union representatives have approached school administrators in the past and expressed concern regarding working conditions because of an excess of walk through observations, both informal and formal, for teachers who continually produce results, supported by test scores, classroom data, and prior evaluations.  In addition to myriad other obligations, quality teachers were feeling overburdened, undervalued, and unappreciated. They felt as if they were being watched over as a parent with a child and morale was low.  When administration was approached regarding the issue, union leaders suggested that quality teachers be observed less frequently so bad teachers could be focused on, given due process, and dismissed if necessary.  Administration response was to claim the observation document was too verbose and complicated and they didn’t know how to utilize it effectively to run bad teachers out.  In other words, it was too hard for administration to identify bad teachers and help them improve, as Superintendant Van Zant claims is the purpose of the evaluation document.  Continuing with this line of thinking, it would also be even harder to establish a teacher’s faults and prove them following the protocol of due process.  Essentially, the Clay Assessment system isn’t artificially low, the ability of county hired administration isn’t capable of doing the specific job they are tasked with in this regard. 

Secondly, to blame the weakness of the evaluation document on a committee “of which union representatives constitute the majority” is a not only a boldfaced lie but also a loaded statement with a political agenda.  The union is NOT a majority on this committee.

 Furthermore, the teachers on this committee are likely to earn an average of about $45,000 annually and are tasked with planning, teaching, and grading daily lessons.  The majority of this committee is made up of principals who make close to six figures if not over 100,000 per year to not only supervise but also utilize said evaluation document.   In addition, the committee is led by the top ranking administrators in the district other than the superintendant.  These committee members are getting paid in excess of 100,000 dollars per year and are tasked directly with evaluation. If they can’t manage to lead a committee that creates an evaluation system that does not have “an artificially low standard” then there are some serious questions to be asked.  The logic does not follow.  The superintendant can’t have it both ways, either the document is flawed because his appointed staff is unable to do better or his refutation of the assessment system is unacceptable. 

2     2.     “…each annual contract would automatically renew if the teacher receives an effective or highly effect rating for three years.  Such automatic renewals clearly go against the intent of Florida Statutes…”

This is simply not true, 27 of Florida counties already have this in place and there has been no attempt by the state to go after districts for willfully breaking the law.  Van Zant goes on to say that the legislature “deliberately removed PSC language with intent to limit teachers’ entitlement to continuous automatic employment.”  First of all, the word entitlement seems insulting and intentionally provocative.  The right to have a secure job and steady means of income to those who consistently receive high evaluations and work “miracles” with groups of children most adults would flee from after only minutes in charge is not an entitlement.  It’s been earned.  Going back to point #1, it’s not continuous automatic employment to keep a job that’s been earn and is consistently done with success and diligence.  If Clay County is an “A” district, then the teachers who have done the work have earned the right to keep continual employment.  Teachers don’t need to manipulate election laws to secure employment. 

A side note, but one worthy of mentioning here, is that teachers on annual contracts don’t speak up, fight back, or shout down bad ideas.  They go along.  And when you go along with a bad idea, you are doing a disservice to the students and local populace.  Job security is a must if you are to do your job well, because dissent can prevent failures from occurring before they happen.  And just maybe, people who want to keep people on edge and afraid might have some bad intentions that they don’t want brought to light. 

3 3.      “The anecdotal evidence the special magistrate referenced in support of his recommendation on this issue related to the Teacher of the Year that moved to Alachua county is arbitrary, at best.  While no one except that teacher can cite the rationale for his leaving, the School District notes that renewal in a “PSC-like” fashion as the union has proposed would effectively negate what the Florida Legislature intended in 2011.”

First of all, the teacher of the year, David Fields, has specifically stated at a school board meeting is that he feels that Alachua County can better provide job security because they offer these protections to their teachers.  When deciding between Alachua and Clay, Dave and his wife Kendra felt that Alachua was a far safer district to work because of these protections.  If she came to Clay, rather than him going there, they did not feel confident that she could maintain employment in a district that doesn’t value nor respect its professionals.

Secondly, to ensure that the Teacher of the Year in the current school year doesn’t prove to be a liability for the political careers of the Superintendant and certain members of the board, the process for selection and determination of the recipient has been changed. 

4   4.     “In this regard, the School District believes that the Florida Department of Education protocols require that follow-up documentation should occur after implementation in cases in which the teacher is to use a new skill or strategy as part of the ins-service training.  It only makes sense that the effectiveness of the strategy can only be measured after it is implemented. “

Logistically, there are so many things wrong with this statement.  If it “only makes sense that the effectiveness “ of anything “ can only be measured after it is implemented” then all bad ideas would have to be put into practice.  Telling my 11 year old son not to jump his bicycle over a pit of hungry alligators before actually attempting it is not ludicrous.  Implementation isn’t always the path to determining impotence.    

Furthermore, to say teachers must implement a strategy in order to be awarded the points for recertification (125 hours every 5 years plus a non-reimbursed fee approaching $100) is insulting and detrimental.  If a college educated, experienced, classroom professional determines that a day-long mandatory in-service training is hooey, they should be awarded credit for time served.  What’s the reason for making them implement a bad idea that will just subtract another day of instruction? Competent people can smell manure when thrown in their ugly mugs, there’s no need to feed it to the kids just to make sure. 

5  5.       “The School District …has had difficulties in recruiting individuals in hard to fill positions, such as speech.  “

This is an absurd connection.  There is one reason why speech THERAPISTS do not take jobs in the county.   Salary.  In the private sector, there is more money to be made.  Significantly more money.  Furthermore, occupational therapists and physical therapists in Clay County are on a separate pay scale than speech therapist.  The speech therapists are on the teachers’ pay scale.  The other therapists on the separate scale make about $25,000 per year more than speech therapists.  A speech therapist currently working IN Clay County Schools makes 70,000 a year working for a private contracting company.  That means that the district is paying private speech therapists more than they would have to if they just paid their current speech therapists on the therapist salary scale. 

The reason for the speech shortage isn’t because of “leapfrogging” but rather because Clay is lacking vision, coherence, competence, and community in its upper organization. 

6    6.      The impasse led to the district absorbing the magistrate’s fees for composing this report that the superintendent has rejected.  The school board will likely vote to reject it.  The teachers will likely refuse to ratify the school board’s rejections.  That takes us back to square one, negotiating a contract for the 15-16 school year, one that is essentially already over.  Hundreds, if not thousands of man hours wasted.  This translates to dollars because time equals money, right?    So, essentially, this year ends with absolutely no progress between management and labor at a significant cost.  Therefore, it will be the 16-17 school year before negotiations pick up steam again and at that point it will be EIGHT, 8, years without any pay increase.  Not a raise, just a pay increase.  No cost of living, contracted step increase, nothing…nada.  Just an ever increasing inflation and cost of health insurance…adjusted for real dollars, the people doing the work in the schools of Clay have absorbed a net loss over the past decade of work while new positions and raises have been given to those in the ivory tower.  It’s unjust at best.  It’s indescribably profane for sure. 

The Best Worst Thing Ever

**Thanks to Dangerous Minds for the inspiration***

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS2EKA_THWE

Wally World -  Here is a band where creativity comes only second to working menial day jobs and sitting on battered couches in low rent apartments while watching public access music shows. 

I hate to begin by mocking anyone's personal appearance but the extreme close ups of the singer's aged face only serves to remind me there hasn't been a decent version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre since part II with Dennis Hopper.  The black mascara around Wally's eyes accentuates the sags of weather-aged-face and is far more terrifying than Leatherface's meat-hook. Actually, Wally's face may have spent some time on a meat-hook. 

Wally begins the video without a shirt.  This seemed to be a bad choice.  Until seconds later when they're ocean front and he's got a shirt.  It seems that the shirt must have been tailored from the upholstery of someone's great-grandmother's couch.  I imagine that the mothball scent is irremovable as well, even in the blustery ocean wind.

The song begins with a generic rock riff that everyone from Circus of Power, Guns N' Roses, Faster Pussycat, and LA Guns has recycled and re-purposed....a quarter of a century ago.  Wally gives it the old college try when he gives a Halford-esque scream but if they actually had given the old college try the guitarist in the top hat could buy a pair of better fitting jeans from somewhere other than Goodwill. Without being saddled with student loan debt, he got the sleeveless denim jacket as an accent piece to his tarpaulin jeans as well as a top hat.  Money well-spent.  Money in the bank.  You have to spend money to make money.  

Soon after Wally's  killer scream of dead dreams and aspirations, there is a tight zoom on the kick drum bearing the Wally World band logo.  It seems that it was designed with cost in mind.  Free is always the most thrifty path and there is also the added bonus of keeping your 3 year old nephew busy while babysitting for your brother and wife while they enjoy some well-deserved time out together after a long week at work and raising children.  There's nothing quite like an unsupervised art project while uncle Wally is passed out on the couch after drinking a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 and a six pack of Schlitz along with gobbling a handful Nana's Oxys that he found in the couch.   The best part is that when he comes to, he's got the logo hand drawn by family on the kick drum.  Nothing tops family ties and sentimentality. 

The mini boom box is visible in the shoot.  Obviously they have to mime along with a prerecorded version of this totally rockin' tune but the big question is how can that little thing be loud enough to hear over the surf?  The second largest looming inquiry is where did they get the money for that thing?  It had to be somewhere upwards of thirty seven bucks.

At the 26 second mark there appears to be random woman walking directly toward the camera.  She soon after disappears never to be seen again.  I'm sure the human traffickers put her back into the shipping container she lives in to await the next music video gig on her way to stardom.  Stay tuned for her on the 20never installment of video vixens.  Or the episode of CSI Encinitas based upon the real story of the dead hookers found in the shipping container.  The only evidence found in that episode was a shirt seemingly made from grandma's old couch.  This case goes unsolved. But the detectives cannot shake the smell of mothballs. 

There's a girl dancing stage (beach) left in heels, a bikini, and a trench coat.  Let's assume she missed the weather report that day and wanted to cover all her bases.  She's moving to the beat with a Rufenal  influenced tango. 

Around 1:09 guitarist number one, the top-hatted fella, slides into the frame and then almost immediately back out before Wally very kindly points him back in.  Fortunately, Wally, as the stage-seasoned veteran he is, still manages to maintain focus and get an abrupt karate-chop in to mix up the stage presence a bit before resuming his more natural excessive pointing.

Wally's really bringing it in this clip and around 1:40 he manages to take a quick rejuvenating break by leaning on his bass player.  Like Dionne Warwick said, "that's what friends are for." 

Since one can not simply bring the rock all the time, there is a mellow bridge that begins at 1:48.  The riff may have originally belonged to Ugly Kid Joe's "Everything About You" but after seeing Wally's karate chop, I don't think the UKJ crew is going to make any noise.

Then, in a sudden turn of events, a woman is so paralyzed from the sheer awesomeness on display on the beaches of Encinitas that day that she cannot turn her gaze from her iphone as she passes in fear of passing out or pissing herself just like girls used to do when The Beatles and Stones played.

The dancing bikini trench coat girl who had just been trafficked in from the GOP national convention walks directly in from the ocean, takes off her shades just before teleporting stage right.  The plot to this, as the kids these days say, just got real.

Just when  you're about to begin sobbing tears of blood during the emotional interlude, Wally brings forth another metal scream straight from the bowels of the Encinita sewer system and then the song builds and builds until the final crescendo....there's a double fist pump and a third metal scream (because evil thrives in threes) before the final "ho!"  Wally assertively turns and walks toward the primal seas from which forth man once was spewed while the rest of the band is dazed, awed, and shocked with an uncertainty of inaction looming over them, freezing them in their places.  

An Explanation of the KISS reviews

The KISS reviews that were posted earlier on this blog were the result of a back and forth between myself and a few old college buddies.  Most of us maintained that KISS is a band that is given far too much credit by the fans and really have little business being in the hall of fame.   One of my pals insisted that I give their 70s catalog a listen and see if my opinion changes.  So I took him up on the offer, listening to every KISS studio album released in the 1970s in less than 12 hours.

Two conclusions can be drawn from this:
1.  I should as an adult have more pressing things to do with my time, but sadly I don't. 
2.  KISS wrote some terribly atrocious music that never should've seen the light of day.  The fact that some of the songs on those 70s albums made it out onto store shelves is intriguing in that they had to get approved by the guys in the band, then the producer, the label execs, and so on and so forth.  The number of people involved makes it astonishing that these things got through.  These songs also explain why it took so long for KISS to break big....they needed the time to come up with enough good songs to play live and re-release as greatest hits/live albums.

Please don't look to the reviews below for any intrinsic linguistic worth...you will find none.  This was a project full of sincerity and an intense focus on listening.  The responses were mostly composed on my notepad contained on my Iphone while walking and working out.  They were nothing more than evidence that I truly listened to each song on each release before drawing conclusions.

Ultimately I would have to say, in spite of Eddie Trunk's frequent insistence on his radio show and That Metal Show, that KISS don't belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  They did some cool stuff but the excellence is only a fraction of what they've created.  They were ripoff artists who stole from Alice Cooper and The NY Dolls.  The only reason they had so much influence was because they were more media savvy and television friendly than those other acts. But as I type and try to build the case about the Hall of Fame I realize that the Rock N' Roll HOF has much lower standards than the original HOF.  To make the Baseball Hall of Fame you have to show that you have longevity in your excellence and your excellence must exceed that of your peers in the time you were competing.  The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame seems far less exacting in their criteria and seem to go on popular opinion and even a single good album can get you in (ie. Guns N' Roses).  A single good season does not get a player into the Baseball HOF.

The bottom line is that KISS is not as good as you remember them.  Most people think of the hits...listen to the deep cuts and you will find a band that is very, very suspect and isn't worthy of very much respect. 

KISS - Love Gun

1.  I Stole Your Love -  I had never previously heard this and it's the first one in the catalog that i hadn't heard and actually liked. Most bands have deep cuts that are better than the hits.  Kiss is not one of those bands.  Great song .  A+

2. Christine Sixteen -  pedophile rock.  Gene's voice over is even creepier.  Ok song..."she's been around but she's young and clean."  What the fuck is going on here?  The best thing this song has going for it is the weird factor.  C+

3.  Got Love for Sale -  cool guitars and great bass sound.  Crappy vocals and crappy chorus but at this point in the catalog you have to expect that.  I should've figured that out to be their signature much earlier.  I do like the clean guitars on this.  C

4.  Shock Me -  Ace should've sung more in this band.  Good rocker but the tempo isn't right.  Another song ruined by the studio.  B

5.  tomrrow and tonight -  partridge family or the osmonds.  Another cool solo in the middle.  Ace is the strongest link in this band....Wait, this should be on a Meatloaf album.  At least he'd add sincerity and sweat.  F

6.  Love gun-  how does the same band write this and that last sonic abortion?  It would make sense if they were all heavy drug abusers but gene and paul are teetotalers.  maybe they should've partied more.   Paul's vocals are inspired and the bass just pummels.  drums stay steady and ace shreds again.  A+

7.  Hooligan -  good up until (insert adjective for bad/shit/crap/turd  here , I'm out of words and have reached my limit for dumping on something ) chorus.  Sounds like another outtake from a Black Oak Arkansas album...i'm starting to sound like a broken record and am wishing that someone wouldve done more to break Kiss albums before they hit the shelves.  D

8.  Almost Human - Starts out with some great guitars interplaying with bass and drums...kick ass vocals.  dirty rock.  cool harmonic/falsetto freaky chorus vocals.  this song is kick ass.  i had also missed this one before today and love it.  Sounds like early Judas Priest  at first.  A

9.  Plaster Caster -  better than most of their mundane shit but nothing special.  C+

10.  Then She Kissed Me -   if this were ironic it'd be sort of funny but the fact that it's indistinguishable from any of the other Jersey Boys type shit they've spurting forth throughout their careers lets you know they are dead serious....horrible.  D -

Overall:  C

Kiss - Destroyer

1.  Detroit Rock City -  Everything works.  Love the Bass line.  song has high energy.  the extended beginning and stupid sound effects need to go.  I want to hear music...if i wanted a story with sound effects i'd watch a movie.  Cool use of piano with this track.  Iron Maiden/Judas priest style dual leads.  A+

2.  King of the Night Time world -  starts off like it's going to be good but it sucks.  I'm starting to feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football...I think the songs are going to be good and then Kiss ruins them with shitty choruses and poor songwriting.  Kiss is the Lucy of rock n' roll.  Stop fucking with us you bastards.  Like the two face girlfriend in Seinfeld...sometimes she looks pretty and then the light changes...you want her to be pretty but then you see her from a different angle and ugh, limp.  D-

3.  God of thunder -  Great drudging riff....should be heavier, more distortion, more bass, down tuned...something other than Gene's ugly delivery to give it actual thunder.  Dump the stupid sound effects.  Just because Kiss starting learning their way around the studio after 5 albums doesn't mean they need to play around...B  (easily could've been an A+)

4.  Great Expectations -  I would rather eat an uncooked goat cock than to have to listen to that again.  F

5.  Flaming Youth -  another showtune. Something's flaming...but it's not this song.  F

6.  Sweet Pain -  verse is ok.  Chorus needs more help than Stephen Hawking with walking.  Some cool interplay between the bass and guitars. ...but that's the only thing saving this from another F.  D

7.  Shout it out loud-  I know it's a hit but it's shit.  Repetitive.  Coolest part is the use of the piano (might be the bass strings).  C

8.  Beth - again, peter's voice is solid.  the flutes and shit have got to go.  Just throw in a few sparse strings with the piano.  sound like the sound track to a touching family drama from the 70s.  Far over produced.  C

9.  do you love me-  more shtick.  crap.  simple.  dull.  D

10.  Rock and Roll Party - what the fuck?  If i was in a record store in 1978 i'd be all like wow, 10 new songs from kiss let me buy this but then i'd get home and hear it and get to the last song hoping for some redemption after suffering through the last 5 songs and then i'd be all like wow...i'm disappointed.  I would like to interview these tool bags to see what the exact intent and artistic vision was on this jizzbomb.   this doesn't even get a letter...totally undeserving of any label.  If this was a face it would be rocky dennis.  if this were a president it would be gw bush.  if this were a piece of candy it would be necco wafers. 

Overall grade : D

Kiss - Rock and Roll Over

1. I Want  You - great ballady opening.  Soft and then boom...it blows up and fires on all cylinders.  A+

2.  Take Me -  cool rock and roll riffing.  Bass sounds good.  Uptempo rocker.  B

3.  Calling Dr. Love -  great classic simple riff.  Cool cowbell.  This song simply rocks.  Cool falsetto chorus singing.  the dual guitars on this one make it a solid addition to any rock playlist.  A+

4.  Ladies room -  should've been an instrumental.  lyrics and vocals are terrible.  C-

5.  Baby Driver- dated  70s rock but not totally lost.  At least it moves and once again Ace saves the day.  B-

6.  Love 'em and Leave 'em -  nothing here that hasn't been somewhere on the previous albums.  Only Ace's playing is interesting.  Cool phaser sound effect.  Ace does some cool stuff with his switches too.....but the song sucks.  D

7.  Mr. Speed -  Jim Dandy and Black Oak Arkansas weren't this cheesy.  F

8.  See you in your Dreams -  shit. Utter and total shit.  another flat boring chorus. My turds splashing in the toilet are more musical.  F (only because there is no lower letter grade).

9.  Hard Luck Woman -  good vocal by Peter.  cool tune but only slightly above average and really only stands out because the last 3 songs make you wish you were a suicide bomber.  B-

10.  Making love-  starts out with great riffing.  Song blazes.  Some shit parts but the uptempo pace and energy win out.  B


Overall :  C

Kiss - Dressed to Kill

1. Room Service -  hokey and show-tunish.  Dated.  horribly simplistic.  F

2.  Two Timer-  better but not good.  good solo.  another super simple and dull chorus.  C-

3.  Ladies in Waiting-  the album is still improving but the chorus it complete and utter garbage.  C+

4.  Getaway -  it's peppier than the other songs.  Cool interplay between the two guitars.  solid bassline.  Blazing solo.  Cowbell bonus!  B-

5.  Rock Bottom - great intro.  Everything works.  Good guitars, songwriting, and vocals.  A+

6.  C'mon and Love Me- the live version is much better.  Decent song but falls flat.  B-

7.  Anything for My Baby - another clunker.  same shit chorus again.  C-

8.  She - great sludge tune. Dark Vocals.  A

9.  Lover Her All I Can -  It grooves but it's dated and it sucks.  I can see Paul doing his flamboyant dances all over with this one.  This is the sound of his itty bitty rose tattoo.  The main riff is all right but the song sucks.  Some fun drums before the solo.  C-

10.  Rock and Roll All Night - Great anthem but again, the chorus sort of sucks.  The rest of the song moves and grooves. Cool funky bass.  Peter bangs pretty hard but song is underdeveloped and could've been better.  B

 Overall Grade :  C

KISS- Hotter Than Hell

1.  Got To Choose -  sound murky, muddled, slow, and dull.  Did KISS invent grunge in 1974?  Like a couple of tracks on the debut it sounds like it was recorded at the wrong speed.  I've heard this song on Alive! and it sounds much better.  The studio does not capture this song in a good light. If I hear "who's your baby" one more time I'm kicking a puppy.  D

2.  Parasite - this is good.  great movement to start.  uptempo and moving...can bob the head to this one.  This is guitar rock 101!  peter plays well with ace again.  having trouble hearing gene on this.   usually the drummer plays with the bassist...here it's peter and ace.  sounds like early pennywise with no bass or metallica's justice...maybe this is the metal sound they were going for when they took jason out of the mix. ...all distorted treble...B+

3.  Goin' Blind - back to the Melvins-style sludge rock.  Gene's vocals are bad.....really bad.  painful actually.  is this a ballad?  fuckin' horrible.  if i were in a band and a guy came to the table with this i'd work to get him out...this is total shit.  i wish i were goin' deaf...even Ace's leads are trite and uninspired here ..F

4.  Hotter Than Hell -  Good rockin' groove to open.  Another song with the start stop thing going on.  good vocals..raw.  Good rock n' roll lyrics about a pretty lady.  the murky production makes it land a bit flat though. And the drum fills seem a bit clunky.  Cowbell is a plus.  You can never go wrong with cowbell. Sort of a redundant song though...it goes nowhere.   B-

5.  Let Me Go Rock N' Roll -  another one for the honky tonk.   Good leads by Ace once again though.  Dull....got that Broadway cheese again...Ace's playing saves the song. C+

6.  All the Way - sounds like a bunch of guys fucking around at practice trying to come up with something.  And it's not working. Awkward riffing.  Flat vocals.  No groove, no rock.  More Broadway honky tonk....i do like the tin can sound of Ace's soloing and a little whammy or string bending is the best part of the whole song. I can picture people line dancing to this....stomping the heels of their cowboy boots on the wood floors as they turn with each verse.   D

7.  Watchin' You-  thin, sparse guitar to start.  A really heavy bass could've made this song huge.  when the second guitar hits the song takes off.  Song has multiple parts.  Most interesting thing on the album so far.  Vocals are pretty good even if a bit down in the mix and layered with multiple takes/tracks.  KISS does get a pretty good drum sound in the studio....sounds unmixed and raw...sort of a natural sound.  the guitars on this are pretty rugged.  After a close listen to this first two albums I will agree that I didn't give Ace and Peter their proper due as rock n' rollers.  A

8. Mainline -  potential in the opening riff and drums but song slips into total cheese.  bad tv show theme sound.  sucks donkey dick.  D-

9.  Comin' Home - more of a rocker than mainline or all the way but still sort of cheesy.  I expected more from an Ace composition.  Reminds me of Cheap Trick...but not as good.  Total elementary song structure.  That simple chorus breakdown is so basic and dull.  Any 15 year old with 3 months experience could fling this shit together.  D

 10.  Strange Ways- starts off dark and grimy...vocals are sleazy.  Great creeping riff...it's lurking just outside your door....waiting to get in.  Chorus is weak, especially the "bridge" before going back into the main verse.  But still a cool creeping groove to this one.  Criss even gives a few shrieking high notes in his vocal delivery.  Ace's lead solo is wicked...might be the best work he's laid down on either of the first two albums.  One of Metallica's recent criticisms is that they just write riffs and throw them together instead of composing songs.   Kiss was definitely the standard bearer for that...come up with a cool riff or two, build  song around it and then clunk a couple of weak bridges in between and have some chanting as a chorus that repeats a couple of times and boom, a song.   B-

Overall :  C

Kiss S/T Debut 1974

My friends Dave and Jamie are Kiss fans who think they deserve more respect from me.... so I'm giving them the Dilt Close Listening Treatment.

Kiss -  Kiss 1972
1.  Strutter-  Cool drum fill opening.  The bass has a cool groove that has a funk vibe to it.  The guitars are really raw and gritty...which I love.  Ace's leads are cool and every dude knows a "strutter" so that's a bonus in the lyric department.  A+

2.  Nothin' to Lose-  sounds like something that should be heard in a dirty, smoky barroom but that doesn't redeem it.  It's bloozey but sounds too much like the NY Dolls in a honky tonk.  It even has some piano and handclaps... C

3.  Firehouse -  cool riff but not strong enough to warrant an entire song built around it.  Also has a funky feel to it.  I do like the frequent stop/starts.  More interesting lead work by Ace.  Song just sort of slugs along without going anywhere.  C

4.  Cold Gin-  cool classic riff.  cool build up with bass and drums.  sounds slower than the live version and it suffers from it. needs to be picked up a bit.  Like the Death Angel version better.  Vocals are good.  In the same vein as Firehouse, cool riff but the song goes nowhere really slowly...don't get me wrong, I love classic rock but this album thus fair is fairly boring.  About three minutes in the song finally breaks into some cool guitar bits before launching back into the main riff but now that the momentum has picked up the song is finally rocking...still a little sludgey but still rocking .  The last minute redeems it.    B+

5.  Let Me Know - horrible.  Sounds like a broadway musical with terrible musicians....so far off broadway Chris Christie likes it.  Bad theatre....music.  the only thing worse than bad theatre music is church music....F

6.  Kissin' Time- disco before disco.  Total Cheese.  Feathered hair, camaros, long handled combs in the back pocket of jeans...total shit.  F

7.  Deuce -  Best song on the album thus far.  Total fucking balls out rock.  This is where KISS succeed instead of suck.  Great guitar , cool song structure....good vocals, gritty and tough.  This is rock n' roll.  Peter and Ace play their asses off together.  They might not be technical gods but the can still rock together.  A+ 

8.  Love Theme From Kiss -  What the fuck is this?  Bad Allman Brothers? It sounds like something a bunch of high dudes thought was cool when jamming out ...guess the album needed another track.  Still better than songs 5 and 6.  If i was listening on a turntable i'd turn the speed up thinking i had it on the wrong setting.  D

9.  100,000 years -  Starts off like an epic rocker.  If the bass were a bit plunkier and faster it could be the foundation of a Maiden song.  This is straight up 70s rock.  If i played in a bar band I'd cover this tune.  Stanley's vocals are the strongest on this album.  Ace's playing sounds good....guitars are raw.  Even Gene's bass sounds good.  Peter even gets a solo in.  Really like Stanley's singing when it's only the drums and him.  This really spotlights the whole band.  Again, another reminder of what they were capable of....A+

10.  Black Diamond -  cool soft little opening that leads to harsh guitar riffing....great raspy vocals by Criss...cool back up harmonies too. Fantastic guitar work....This is a guitar song.  This is a rock and roll song. Really like the contrast between the pretty harmonies and the rough edges in the music and Criss's vocals.  Tough lyrics too...this is what a NY band should sound like. That ending could've been taken off though...guess it fills time.    A+


Overall, as an album : C+/B- 

Load

This album got so much shit from the metal faithful back in the mid 90s.  Grunge had taken over the world.  Metallica got hair cuts, bought cigars and became more popular than ever before, except to the faithful diehards who cried, "sell-outs." 

So, is Load a load of shit, like so many dubbed it back in the day or is it something else?  

Ain't My Bitch.  Starts out on a good note...get rid of the pics of these guys with the short hair and cigars and it sounds like a natural follow up to The Black Album.  Definitely more rock than thrash but it's cruising right along and it's angry and there's a good groove in this song.  You pissed?  Put this on loud, drive fast, play the steering wheel like a drum and you'll feel better.  The staccato riffing in the chorus is as fast as any of the thrash riffs on Ride the Lightning.  This song has variety.  Hugely produced vocals, overdubbed and layered.  The song moves, grooves, and kicks ass.  Almost makes me want to shake my ass. 

2x4  This song is more in the vein of Alice in Chains than it is Testament, Slayer, or Anthrax.  It's heavy.  It's grooves.  James still sounds angry.  Kirk kills the wah.....Lars keeps time.  Still great sound on the drums.  The bass is dancing around down on the bottom.  Last song and this song sound like there might be some keyboards floating around on it to fill the sound out.  Not sure.  I always seem to hear different sounds on Metallica albums but then realize it's just their guitars.....Nice slow solo by Kirk around 330...very Frusciante sounding.  Far more emotive than blazing.  Good song. 

The House that Jack Built...dark, brooding guitars.  Dark lyrics sung well.  Good harmonies strung about.  Some talk box guitar.  Strong chords in the chorus.  Nothing stands out as being overtly good or bad.....but a good song.

Until It Sleeps...Bass and drum start.  Understated.  Vocals fit the mood.  The chorus kicks in heavy.  Lyrics dark as fuck...James is now totally comfortable sharing his insanity.  This song pinpoints and articulates the possession of anxiety dead on.  It rises up...you hold on and ride the wave "until it sleeps"   Definitely in my top 10 Metallica songs. Good bass sound under and driving the song.  Great guitars all over this thing. 

King Nothing...Nice sustained droning guitar to start.  Jason's bass sounds good.  James's rhythm comes in heavy and dirty.  Lars bangs the shit hard like always.  Again, it's dancing and grooving and I want to shake my ass.  Metallica were definitely going in another direction here and I guess that's why everyone was so thrown aback at the time.  Some more keyboard sounds but i think they are guitars...maybe a flanger effect?  Really dark lyrics. 

Hero of the Day...nice picked guitar to open.  Gentle drums by Lars....he can play without beating the fuck out of the skins.  Good bass plunking here  A bit of the flanger again?????  The lyrics to this song kill me....It opens with "mama they tried to break me."  Knowing what James said in Dyer's Eve and in The Unforgiven it's easily seen how much pain is in him and how disillusioned the world has made him.  He was not prepared for the world he stepped into as a man.  In this song he addresses his mom and notes the comfort of the light in the window at home.  Home is where things are safe and love is found.  But the world he's in now causes him to feel (which he hates to do) and the world tries to break him and all the while he tries to convey to his mom that fist he's made for all these years can''t hold anything or feel anything.  He says, "I'm not all me."  Somewhere out on the road he's gotten lost and he asks his mom, all mothers, can't you hear your babies' cries.  Again, another song that's not thrash but thrash couldn't convey this emotion.  They do throw some double bass into the middle of the song as it builds. 

Bleeding Me....another soft delicate song.  Really gentle vocals by James.  He even hits some high notes.  Lars plays hard again.  Cool leads on this.  Great guitar tone.  Grungy rhythym sound.  Another effectively emotional song. 

Cure...ok. It fits in with all that came before. Nice guitar groove and straightforward drumming. Fun solo by Kirk at 240...

Poor Twisted Me...Interesting echoed beginning. Song builds as each player comes in. Again i hear the Stones/Aerosmith twin guitar interplay thing. Cool lyrics...I get Hetfield. Maybe that's why I'm such a staunch Metallica defender when I hear cries of sell outs. Or maybe it's because i have some perspective and see the later days of Zeppelin as their weakest...you can't be awesome all the time over an extended time(unless you're me). Cool lyrics. Nice soloing 245. Cool guitars on this one. Some slide? Good drumming here....a lot of work on the snare. There are some tom fills...they are as loud in the mix as the earlier albums, maybe that's why people thought Lars stopped drumming. 


Wasting My Hate...cool grooving picked opening. Muted vocals...then the high hat changes tempo...one,two....boom. Great grunt by James to kick if off....uggggggh. Cool interplay between guitars then it all rolls together.  Pure anger in vocals. Aerosmith,Stones like guitar interplay...textured. Some cool twang in the guitars.  Good drumming by Lars.  Maybe the angriest vocal delivery by James.  I love the idea that James takes his self-loathing (the kind that killed Belushi, Farley, Candy, Cobain, etc) and says he isn't going to waste that shit on someone else.  He's going to save it.  It's like "fuck you, you're such a piece of shit i won't waste emotion on you. not even hate.  I'll save that shit for me because i enjoy my anger.  so if i see you, I'll smile and be nice and polite because it aint' worth spending an emotion on your weak ass."  That's some dark hostility there....One of my all time favorite Metallica songs.  The lyrics definitely give it a boost in my appreciation, but as I give it a close listen, it all works.  It's a song with depth, texture, variety and it moves and emotes. 

Mama Said...a true acoustic ballad by Metallica.  Nice soft amplified acoustic guitar.  Nice singing by James.  Sad content.  Country leads...steel guitar?  If not, nice job in recreating the sound by Kirk.  The song builds and gets heavy.  Overall it gives some nice texture and depth to the album. 

Thorn Within....interesting start.  All the players are playing, but they come in at different times, doing different things.  Slow build.   Nice contrast between the two guitars throughout the song.  Good riffing in the bridge/prechorus.  Still hearing some flang/wah....Mid tempo song. 

Ronnie...although this song is full of "non-Metallica" songs, this is the misfit of the album.  Not really sure what it is...not really blues or country...not metal.  Just generic rock.  Worst song on the album....probably only included because it was about "Ronnie"...who I'm guessing was a friend of James at one point.  Dont' really like this one at all. 

The Outlaw Torn....it comes in at almost 10 minutes.  For an album that generally gets away from the epic grandiose structures of And Justice For All, the end with this.  Cool emotive guitars and really good singing by James...heavy drums by Lars.  Cool chorus...really good singing by James.  "If you see me start to come undone, stitch me together...." good lyrics.  This song takes its time getting to where it wants to go....well written.  All the parts fit together...it builds and calms....eventually leading to the climax of a final chorus and then just plays out...almost in a jam until it codas out.....

Not sure exactly how to grade this one. It's got some real good songs on it, two of my all time top 10.  There's a couple of clunkers as well.  The album is much different than the early days but not that much of a departure from the Black Album.  Listing to all of the albums over and over again in their entirety makes it pretty easy to see the growth from Puppets to Justice to Black to Load.  Kill Em and Ride were the infant stages of this band....Puppets and Justice the adolescence and Black is where they hit their prime.  They become men.  Load is the later stages of manhood, not too old yet, but mature enough to see that the passions and fervor of adolescence can't be continued forever. 

Is Load Metallica's equivalent to Zeppelin's Presence?  If Bonham hadn't died, where would those dudes have gone next?  Presence wasn't a good showing.  The conundrum of Load is this:  Metallica defined themselves as the a monstrous force only to redefine themselves here as something less than a monster.  There are glimpses of the past beast, but there are so many bits that stand out as being so foreign to the world they previously created.  The only way to look at this is in isolation and there are some true gems on here.  But the clunkers that stink the joint up linger far too long....

Grade: B 

Metallica -The Black Album

This album sounds so much better than any album before or after.  Bob Rock did one hell of a job.  How awesome would it have been if the record label let them just go with the all black cover instead of the stupid grey snake? 

The album opens with perhaps their most famous riff in Enter Sandman.  Again, another song about how fucked up James is.  He's a thinker, trapped in his mind.  The worst time of existence for a thinker is that time before bed when there's no distractions from your mind.  You can make it through the day by being occupied and watching tv and socializing...etc....but when you lie down to bed in the small hours and wait for "never-never land" to come, you "dream of wars, dream of lies...and of things that will bite."  The riff is so good and so simple.  The song builds nicely.  Kirks has some nice solos in it.  Definitely their biggest hit, deservedly so. 

Sad But True....Huge song.  Huge drums just like the rest of the album.  Great opening.  Nice slow dirgy pace.  The sound on this album is so monstrous....had to be recorded in a big room.  Nice echo on the vocals.  The drums just pound.  Lars doesn't pummel in the same manner of Keith Moon yet he plays by feel.  Townsend often ripped Moon for his inability to keep good time.  Lars's playing has a natural feel.  It plays to the song.  Technically, he's not superb by any means.  But there is emotion in his playing.  Kirk solos like a mother fucker in this one.   Lyrics = Hi, my name is James and I'm really fucked up.


Holier Than Thou...an uptempo number.  Super repetitive start.  Good riff.  Not as good as the first two songs.  Hetfield really gives it the trademark elongated last syllable delivery...

The Unforgiven...nice acoustic guitar at beginning.  Nice slow electric picking.  Jason's bass is heavy here.  It sounds good on this whole album.  Welcome to Metallica Jason.  The verse parts are sludgy and heavy.  I think I remember James saying that they wanted to do the "anti-power ballad."  The choruses would be soft and gentle and the verses heavy.  Jason's bass stands out on this track.  It's driving and thick.  The more I listen to Metallica, the less I hear Lars as a time keeper but more of a enhancer of sound.  James's voice is delicate in the choruses.  Good song structure.  Good playing.  Really good guitar by Kirk.  Nice balance between the acoustic leads and the screaming electric leads in the middle of the song. 

Nice sitar sound to open Wherever I May Roam.    I think Jason plays an 8 string bass on this.  He plays something other than a regular 4 string bass to get that thwack sound...This is another standout song.  Just a great rock song.  Nice harmonies...Nice loud choruses.  Definitely in the top 10 of all time Metallica songs.  This is just a monster.  Great mid tempo riff and good leads.  Can't hear this song and not see the on the road montage from the video.  Just like The Unforgiven and old angry shirtless guy. 

Don't Tread on Me...Metallica's attempt at an anthem.  Sucks.

Through the Never..Better than Tread but still doesn't match the other songs on this album.  Once the lyrical verses kick in it's good.  There is some cool guitar work but the song isn't stellar.  The chorus is cool because of the stop/start parts. 

Nothing Else Matters...so slow.  So soft.  It's good.  It shuts the album down after starting so strong and then muddling through the last two songs.  Great song.   Beautiful guitars.  Nice singing by James.  Put some headphones on and there is so much depth and so much to listen to on this.  There's definitely strings all over this along with some acoustic guitar mixing nicely with the electric guitar.  And for a ballad, Lars's drums are banging...he hits hard, always.  Love the kick drum on this.  BOOM.  BOOM.  And no matter what you say about Lars as a drummer, when he does his kick, snare, snare, kick, kick, thing, it sounds cool. 

Of Wolf and Man....starts out urgent.  Nice interplay between the two guitars playing rhythm.  Cool vocals by James.  Another metaphorical song?  Does the werewolf represent the anger that grows in James?  Analysis for another time.  Great banging drums. Jason's bass is fucking great...right in the pocket.  This song just grooves.  Love it. 

The God That Failed....Lyrically, I love this song.  Love that it opens with Jason's bass.  The guitars kick in and the sound is fucking huge again.  I know a band doesn't want to recreate the same album over and over again but they should've stuck with this studio, this producer, this mixer and engineer.  The sound on this is so good.  Like Kill Em All, all players can be individually heard all over this album but it sounds so big.  Gigantic.

My Friend of Misery...another song that opens with Jason's bass.  Kick drums and open chords kick in....really straightforward beat by Lars.  The kick drum and the snare are so big.  I keep using that description, so big.  So huge, Gigantic, but this whole album truly is.  This song has some pretty straightforward and simple riffs and some excellent vocals by James.  I think I hear a cowbell in there.....Jason's bass makes this song. Guitars in the middle break down are all over the place...I hear 5 or 6 different things going on.  The leads almost sound like a Deep Purple keyboard solo.  Almost. Then Kirks starts blazing and wah-wahing all over the place about 5:10.  There is definitely cowbell on this.  Kirk keeps soloing. 

The Struggle Within....starts off with a war time march.  Nice stop/start riff.  Chugging.  Uptempo tune.  Good angry vocals by James.  Some Warrior Soul sounding slides down the neck of the guitar.  Lars's snare sounds so sharp on this.  This song is heavy...fast...and interesting.  It's not a typical Metallica song but it bounces.  Kirk's solos are rarely boring, almost always listenable.  Interesting way to close the album...the riffing at 3 minutes is killer.  The song falls short of the best on this album but ahead of the two stinkers in the middle. 

Because of the mediocrity contained in tracks 6 and 7, this album falls short of the A+ I gave Justice and Puppets.  But the sound is soooooooooo good it's hard not to say this isn't their best.  James's singing is better than ever, Jason's playing can be heard and it's damn good, and Lars's drums are titanic. Kirk's solos are listenable and interesting, as always. They scream.  They emote.   So what to do.  There's not a bad song on Puppets or Justice.  Of course some are not as good as others but they're all good.  This album is so listenable and maybe the best sounding album of the 90s. 

Grade: A